Yikes.

13 years on this platform. I think. Getting on for two years since I posted. Both my kids in primary school. And now for the latest plot twist, recovering from a cancer diagnosis. I don’t want to write too much about it. It is as shit as you would imagine it to be. I’m almost on the other side of treatment, ready to be released back into the world, hopefully with no evidence of disease.

And for the first time, I don’t really know what to say. I don’t feel like opining on anything because so much has happened. How to even find the words to process? Yet that’s what blogging always was for me. Anyway I just wanted to write and say hey, I’m still here. That erstwhile intern is now a boss and well, that’s weird. Time passing is strange. In your head you’re often that intern, but with all the experience of a consultant. And I got that public hospital job. And I find myself itching to do my juniors work for them, but you can’t because they don’t learn how to do it. You just have to be…there. Guide. Guide some more. Take the heat when shit hits the fan. Get it wrong. Getting it wrong still stings and I don’t think it will ever stop stinging.

And having cancer has just made me even more frustrated with the system. You have half an idea as a doctor…but far out, as a patient? More on that…eventually. When I have the words.

But for now, hi.